Sex and the art of motorcycle maintenance 14

Between Love and Respect; which would you choose? I choose the former. The polemics of these words is more than philology and exact meaning of its semantics, more often it is how we view such values. I don't consider them as mere concepts for it was the first mistake of the philosophers to make such and the like as 'ideas'. I respect Plato but I do not Love him. In the book of Machiavelli it was said that a ruler is better off respected and feared than loved by his subjects. To a General or to any leader who is oriented and geared towards honor and victory; respect is essential. Sun Tzu's Art of War makes respect as a psychological component that provides good morale to the soldiers and brings apprehension to the enemy, if it may not stir fear to his soldiers. Respect is a powerful word. It polishes dignity. It asserts self worth. It draws the line of 'when' and 'when not to.' It is the invisible sign 'keep off the grass' on someone else's lawn. It does not bend nor deign to anything less that will jeopardize one's reputation and sometimes character. But most of all, it must be earned and this is where I choose Love over Respect. That's the truth about respect. Love on the other hand, is best given than earned. It entails sacrifice. Unlike respect which requires fortitude, Love can be experienced when one learns how to be weak. It is an open door (--according to John Denver) not a sign 'no trespassing, trespassers’ will be shot'. It asserts self-worth not by itself but by sharing it to others. It has nothing to do with reputation but more with character. Love must precede anything in a relationship. I remember my Dad telling Darryn, the husband of my sister Den, that he's not asking him to love Den but at least respect her. Very nice, I said. It makes sense. At least rationally. One will be respected without being loved. But I don't like it. Respect alone will not make anyone in relationship happy. Sometimes it even sets the two people apart. Annulment is worth p160,000. nowadays; and rich people will pay for it if it means keeping their 'personal space' and peace for themselves. I don't know, but one of the reasons why people divorced is not the absence of respect but the absence of love. 'I could no longer put up with him and I want a divorce. I hope he could respect my decision just as I respect his ideas on how to live his life.' I am one of those who still consider marriage sacred. The give and take and the mutualism in marriage must be made out of love of/with each other not because of a compelling force called respect. Let's try this; I (love, respect) my cat. I (love, respect) my Mom. If you choose 'love' I think you're just fine. If you choose respect; well, can't you hear in your inner ear that the statement requires '...because of....'? Respect and love is different because the former requires explanation while the latter does not. If you say 'I respect my cat' or 'I respect my Mom' your mind will tell you automatically, like fill-in-the-blank short quiz, 'because of what?' You may answer it with: 'I respect my cat because he is ferocious as a tiger' or 'I respect my Mom because she knows when to shut up when making my point.' Very rational, isn't it? While if you say 'I love my cat' and someone asks you 'why?'. Your answer doesn't have to appeal to his or your reason; 'because my cat sleeps 16 hours a day' or a simple shrug will do. We often respect other people because of their good traits and qualities; and people respect us just the same as the way how respect is ought to be earned. Sometimes we respect others, even if they're not worth it, for reasons that makes us feel better--and for reasons that they will respect us by doing so. Love, the more irrational of the two words I'm talking about is simpler yet more difficult. If you love someone no explanation is needed. You just keep on loving that person with all his/her flaws and strengths. Without conditions and returns. The cliche unrequited love and unconditional love is redundant. Love may not be requited and conditional at all times, but it was meant to be so. Have you ever thought how GOD loves us? He doesn't need to explain Himself. Yet, most of us tend to go and search for explanations why GOD loves us. How can we prove His love? If GOD loves me, why did this thing happened to me? I tell you, this is one of the philosophical traps that make people confused. Just look around you man, there are lots of things to thank about--and for me that would be enough. Isn't it funny? It makes sense that 'kung ang mga hayop at halaman nga ay di niya pinapabayaan, tayo pa kaya na nilalang niya bilang pinakamataas na uri.' Between Love and Respect, I choose Love--Respect if often brought because of fear. And the opposite of Love is not hate but fear. Kahimanawari. Word count: 882.